Da Cubbeez is in town! (Oh, brother…)

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Oh, boy. Oh, joy. The Chicago Cubs are in town. Yippee. Yay.

Wait, scratch that – the defending World Series Champion Chicago Cubs are in town.

This could be unbearable.

A few years ago, Mile High Sports Magazine printed a pot-shot at Cubs fans, a jab intended to get under the skin of Cubs fans everywhere, but namely the ones here in Colorado. As has been the case for as long as the Rockies have been in town, Cubs fans come out of the woodwork when the Chicago’s Northsiders head to Denver. If memory serves, MHSM might have referred to Cubs fans as “obnoxious.”

If you thought they were obnoxious before – they in their twice-per-summer, red-white-n-blue pinstriped, been-a-fan-fer-life Cubbies gear, they who shrill and shreeek “Let’s go, Cubbbb-eeeeezzz!” at every possible opportunity especially when the locals begin to chant “Let’s go Rock-eeez!”, they whose favorite franchise was really no better or worse than the Rockies just two years ago – brace yourself.

They will be ruthless now. They have a World Series in tow.

To be fair, Cubs fans aren’t quite as bad as, oh, let’s say Golden State Warriors fans or Seattle Seahawks fans. Of course “all those folks” have been following the Warriors and ‘Hawks for their entire lives – they loved ‘em through Antawn Jamison and Chris Webber, through Steve Largent and Jim Zorn. At least Cubs fans have been there, or at least claimed to really care, through a lot of years.

Since the Cubs hadn’t won a World Series since 1908, and hadn’t been to one since 1945, it’s not like a title suddenly brought them out of the woodwork. (Oh, I know, Warriors fan, you bought that Steph Curry jersey when he was a rookie.) If you’re frustrated by the Rockies seven-year hiatus from the postseason, consider that Cubs fans had to wait 39 freaking years – from 1945 to 1984 – for a playoff berth. Plus, until 2015, they hadn’t been since 2008. The Rockies have yet to turn in a 100-win season, but a 25-year wait is nuthin’ compared to the 106-year streak of the Cubs. Prior to 2016, when the Cubbies notched 103 en route to winning it all, the last time Chi-town saw triple digit wins was 1910.

But Cubs fans are still bad. And don’t take it from me, just ask a White Sox fan. Despite the franchise’s historical futility, Cubs fans still somehow carry a pompous aura that can, at times, be grating. Says Robert Dean, a lifelong White Sox Fan: “Being a White Sox fan in Chicago is being like the dork at the prom hiding in the shadows while the Cubs prance around the dance floor holding a beer, spilling just a little bit, but never letting the whole thing splash on the floor. Everyone is around them cheering them on, while we’re hoping Denny’s won’t be busy afterward. No one’s paying attention to us.”

Yeah, we hear you, Robert. Us Rockies fans, up until recently, have had just about the same amount of “terrible” to cheer for as Cubs fans. Yet, for some reason, it’s just so cool to follow the Cubs. We don’t get it, either, Robert.

Gil Whiteley, Denver’s most recognizable radio voice, says he’s okay with both Cubs and Sox fans (maybe that’s because all of them drink beer, as Whitelely owned various bars in Chicago that were unofficial homes to the Bears, Bulls, Cubs, Blackhawks and White Sox). But he says the difference between Sox fans and Cubs fans is that the Southsiders always held their team accountable; Cubs fans have never done that.

“I like Sox fans because if the team wasn’t good, they stayed home. [Sox] owners at least had to try to win,” says Whiteley.

“Same syndrome as here.”

Ouch, Gil. But that’s probably true. Rockies fans continue to turn out in droves. Coors Field, like Wrigley, is a fun place to hang out. Wrigley Field – and wherever Cubs fans want to extend it – is a place where the cool kids hang out.

Did the Cubs win today? Oh, who really cares anyway? Have another!

But just think how cool the cool kids are going to be now that the Cubs are good – damn good. They won the 2016 World Series because they were great. The Rockies have 20 wins and the local nine are in first place in the NL West. But the Cubs now have the ultimate “scoreboard.” Damn it.

Just so you know, just so you can prepare yourself, these people – of which there will be many – aren’t going to shut up at Coors Field.

Oh boy. Oh joy. The Cubbies are in town.

Let’s go, Rock-eeeeeezzzz.

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