Dick Monfort’s favorite movie might as well be Groundhog Day.

That’s what Rockies baseball has become the last five years: 89 losses, 98 losses, 88 losses, 96 losses and 94 losses from 2011 to 2015, respectively. It’s pretty much the same thing each season. As Bill Murray’s character observed, “It’s gonna be cold, it’s gonna be grey, and it’s gonna last you for the rest of your life.”

The Rockies much-maligned owner begged his incompetent general manager Dan O’Dowd to stay after the 2014 season (uh, why?) but even Dealin’ Dan decided television would be more fun than constructing a 90-plus loss team every year.

So what’s Monfort do? He promotes O’Dowd’s understudy, Jeff Bridich, to GM in the least inspiring move of all time. When Bridich called O’Dowd a “mentor” at his opening press conference the Rockies fate for 2015 and beyond was sealed. They were going to suck, and suck bad – because Monfort refuses to look outside the organization for help.

Clamor all you want for the Rockies to ditch the humidor (a good idea) or hire a team president (a great idea), but the reality is until Monfort sells the team nothing is going to change. He’s content to be like Murray, living the same nightmare scenario over and over again.

Now is Monfort going to stick a RE/MAX sign outside of 20th and Blake any time soon? Probably not, but we can still dream. Here are four perfect candidates to buy the Rockies and bring some baseball respectability to the Mile High City should the team shockingly go on sale.

The Proven Winner – Paul Allen

You were ticked off after 43-8. Allen was not. The Seahawks owner has written check after check without hesitation to keep one of football’s best cores together and was rewarded with a Super Bowl title (and should have two). The Rockies were valued at $855M by Forbes in March of 2015; Allen’s valued by Forbes at a cool $17.4B; money’s not an issue. He owns the NBA’s Trail Blazers as well; why not add a baseball team to the portfolio?

The Flavor of the Month – Steve Ballmer

Ballmer replaced racist trash Donald Sterling as owner of the Clippers and boy, has he been a big hit. The former CEO of Microsoft often sits courtside and cheers on his team with a fiery intensity. He also ponied up the cash to keep DeAndre Jordan and is the clear richest man on this list, valued at $22.7B by Forbes. Ballmer’s a trendy name in the sports world right now and without a salary cap in baseball would be an amazing fit for the Rockies. 

The Spunky One – Mark Cuban

Cuban’s gone from brash bully to respected entrepreneur over the last 10 years after winning a championship with the Mavericks and slinging deals on Shark Tank. He tried to buy the Cubs in 2008, but baseball’s good ol’ boys wouldn’t let him in their club. But now with a net worth of $3B (per Forbes) and a changed reputation, maybe the Rockies are the team Cuban could break into baseball with and bring a championship to Denver.

The Wild Card – John Elway

Rumors have swirled recently that Elway wants to be part of a group that buys the Broncos, but the situation with the Bowlen family makes that prospect tricky. So what’s Plan B? Elway could be the point man of a contingent that takes over the Rox. With an estimated net worth of $145M he’d be the face of the bunch, not the one who ponied up all the cash (think Magic Johnson with the Dodgers). If anyone can turn the Rockies around, it’d be No. 7.